Over the course of the last few weeks, I came up with a list I told myself were my learning. Most are cases of common sense, something that as an irony isn't common. And lingers indeed the question of whether I learned a thing, or two.
Keep away from people, if you can afford the luxury.
No, that is no blanket ban or restraining order some would want to resort to. The painful focus is choosing with too much care, the quality you surround yourself with.
This is no mush, but a good amalgam of two concerns. Where you put your roots down, what sway the ground has in letting your root stay or go where they wish to; the two.
As an introvert or whatever else, I've stuck to a variation of the libertarian government joke. I'd like my environment to be small enough I can drown them in a tub. I add this to the wit though, and heavy in value enough, that they drown by their own merit.
The more an active effort in trimming your environment, unless you are dumb like I am, it enriches for sure. And that is the focus.
Know why, and who you spend your mental resources on.
Of all things I've learned in life, the high cost of repair to one's own mental state has been the foremost. A certain concern where empathy is hard to come by, sympathy in plenty adding not much value.
You need strong savings to retire on when you sap yourself and need to recuperate. Not a big fan of the provident fund savings and such, but I do advocate some saving up for the rainy days.
Taking a hard beating with things in the last couple has reinforced it to almost a primal concern. Funny, but yes, do not spend too much on people in general. Not a cynic speaking, but the very act of getting humans to listen, let alone act, is a draining ordeal. Do that day in day out, and you'll know it someday.
Oh, while at it, much respect to counsellors and the rest who make it their job to listen to people. Do talk to a few, spend energy/time with them; mutual indeed such pains are.
Ensure you will be fine when you don't receive help from them when you need.
Yet another pain point for the animal; the creature of emotion as Dale Carnegie once pointed out. What probability do you ascribe to people having your back when you need a walker? You say upper bounds tending to one, while I go the other end of the fun.
I'm not claiming any sense of authority that people would not have your back. I hold to the possibility that they battle their own demons after all. A modification on Hanlon's razor, if one may.
Why I stress on this, is simple, from my shoes. After a good 4-5 years of having people' backs whenever I could, I have had none, when I had to deal with my depression (and am). Life is no quid pro quo, but don't make it all pro bono either, unless you are the strongest person mentally.
Set-up a good kitchen for yourself, with coffee, tea, or your drink of choice.
Now this, I can never overstate in life. I last cooked proper meals, when I was in Boston. And that's a good 7 years back almost; a little too long for me to slack. A dingy kitchen by all means it was, but the meals were such an escape from the trials and tribulations. If any, coffee, studying philosophy, and most important cooking was what helped.
Handling failing relationships and dark tunnels with graduation/jobs were easy this way. I still wonder how; maybe the lack of other concerns in life, as such?
But, there is yet another reason for this one to stay close. My gym trainer's (irony, but yes I once frequented the gym) words make sense now. "Body is the temple of God", and I wish now that I listened with intent.
A good chunk of my problems, both financial and with health would have been at bay, had I chose to do this, in the last two. Two years here have seen a consistent decrease in my health; physical and more mental health.
Cooking, I tell you, is a therapy. But, who's to say what your mileage might be? Nonetheless, do not skip on your drink and a snack or two there; the cheapest antidote to pain.
Build yourself a library and stock up with thoughts from all walks; antithetical ones more so.
Having seen this one from a few different quarters, humans as a species amuse me. On the one hand, people who consider reading quality literature an uncool habit.
Scan to another side, you see voracious readers who have yet to imbibe one text they laid their hands on. The former's odes to temporal pursuits; the latter chooses books for Facebook posts.
A mark of a gentleman, apart from the steed, his pen, and his drink -- the quality of his books. That, I presume is a dead deal in all, putting dodos to shame, I hear the argument fall.
Get yourself good books' company, grow with them, make it a habit to read. Choose your ways but slack not on goals; pull out the Kindle or a hard spine for all your money's swindle.
Take off on your own, somewhere where the commoners live and thrive, unbeknown.
It lurks around the corner, the ghost of the infamous floods. Come next week, it would be two years since it. Among situations that taught me more than I expected, and pushed me to go beyond, this one tops the list.
I could in one sense say it is funny, ironical, and more when I said, "this is home and I shan't move" but did a few weeks later. Yes, that's something I've regretted much in the last couple of years, among others of course.
But then, life has its own sweet ways; I have among my best friends here a vegetable vendor, a tea maker, and a few more. People, whose eyes brighten up right as they see me around the corner after a couple of days.
Now that, my dear, is where your true back lies. Not in the blasé, uptown crowd you with much fervour try to ape and attempt to attach to.
For sure, not dissing the blasé ones, but experience says, they and their circles can't empathise. Unless of course, you are one of them, after all.
(To be continued, as I unearth more of these diamonds, or lumps of coal as they might end up being)